Life in My Twenties
Life in My Twenties
Something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately is my life in New York<br>City and how much it has changed over the years. I was sitting in<br>Washington Square Park a couple of weeks ago with a friend and it<br>brought back memories of when I used to go there more often when I lived<br>in the city for the very first time, back in the summer of 2018. That<br>summer, I was interning at BlackRock and living in the NYU dorms on<br>Lafayette Street. Looking back (and even in the moment!), that was one<br>of the most fun summers of my life. NYC in the summer as an intern is a<br>special time – college students from all over the country descending on<br>a single city and mingling with interns from all different companies. I<br>met one of my closest friends from college that summer at an event for interns<br>from my school (UC Berkeley) who were in New York, and I’ve continued<br>to cross paths with other people from that summer as the years have<br>passed.
Summertime in Washington Square Park
Life as an adult in my twenties in New York has been in some ways<br>similar to that summer. One way to view<br>life in the city after school is that it becomes like a million<br>college campuses combined into one. College in the US is one of the most interesting<br>social phenomena, because it’s the one time in your life when you’re surrounded by tons of people your age, taking similar<br>classes, doing similar student groups, and everyone’s all living in a<br>geographically proximate space -- not to mention everyone is still in the<br>formative years of their life. No other time in your life is really like<br>that, despite some people’s best attempts to recreate it in adulthood. Third spaces are probably the closest thing to that in the city, which is why they're<br>so interesting to me. For me, McCarren Track in Williamsburg has become one of these for me (come<br>check out my track club, @fjl_tc, on Thursday evenings after work at 6:30pm!). Pottery studios (I tried a pottery class for the first time earlier this year) are another good example.
McCarren Track in Williamsburg
There’s also a lot of discourse on how adult friendships require<br>a high degree of intentionality and reciprocality of effort, which all becomes<br>a lot harder without the<br>natural conditions that something like college provides for cultivating<br>relationships. I can attest that this is very much the case in my life<br>and my personal relationships are something that I’ve invested a lot in<br>over the past couple of years. Even something like living in a different borough or different neighborhood from someone in New York can make it tougher to keep a relationship alive. But for me, I believe that having a strong inner circle<br>is something that’s especially important in adulthood. And with adult relationships, it's very much a case of both being willing to take the initiative, but also recognizing that "if they wanted to, they would." Another interesting thing I noticed is how things like group chats, IG stories, Strava, etc. are among the ways that technology has helped facilitate human connection.
Doclay pottery studio in KTown
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most<br>time with. One interesting way that things have played out is that I’ve<br>ended up in a quite Asian-American social circle in New York. I grew up<br>in a predominantly white / Jewish community in Westchester (Chappaqua),<br>but I’ve historically always had many Asian-American friends. One thing<br>that I’ve spoken with friends about is how because there are so many<br>Asians in New York, even Asians who might have had more non-Asian<br>friends in previous phases of life end up in very Asian circles in New<br>York. There’s also a phenomenon where as an<br>Asian person, when you meet another Asian person, you usually have an<br>immediate high degree of shared context, cultural background, and<br>similar upbringing when you talk to them, which greatly facilitates<br>making those connections. This is not to say I only have Asian friends, but I still find<br>it to be an interesting way that things play out sociologically. A lot could<br>also be said about the various dynamics that take place between Asians,<br>Asian-Americans, international school Asians, third culture kids, and<br>the many other variations.
Sometimes people ask if all my friends are Asian
In terms of the activities that people spend their time on in their<br>twenties in NYC, there is also a ton of variation. Some people really<br>lock in and focus on their careers (like me for most of my twenties).<br>Many people move into the city and immediately start exploring the<br>bustling food and music scenes that New York has to offer. House parties are common, as well as<br>hosting apartment cafes and dinner parties at people’s apartments (I was more into doing this last year, I hosted a matcha cafe and a milk tea cafe -- one of my goals is to host more in the remainder of this year when I'm in town). Birthday celebrations,<br>housewarmings, housecoolings are also popular reasons to host...