7 phrases that need to die before I do

7 phrases that need to die before I do

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to make people stop typing this drivel into textareas near me.

Tell me you’re $X without telling me you’re $X1

You 👏 don’t 👏 have 👏 to 👏 clap 👏 between 👏 words2

I was today years old when…3

The. One. Where. Every. Word. Is. A. Sentence.4

I don’t know who needs to hear this…5

I’m not crying, you’re crying.6

Six Seven7

That’s all for now. I’m sure I’ll despise future phrases in the future. Before I go, here’s one more from the past: “automagically” is a dumb word (but makes for a pretty good song)

Where $X = ‘so annoying’ ↩︎

Tell me you’re desperate for attention without telling me desperate for attention ↩︎

It pains me to report I’ve used this one in earnest ↩︎

I treat this one like celebs with Epstein: claim I never used it, hope nobody digs up the past ↩︎

Nobody. The answer is always nobody needed to hear it ↩︎

Sir, this is a Wendy’s ↩︎

I spent far too long deciding if this should be #6 or #7 ↩︎