The Infinite Policeman — Chapter 1.99999999-> | by Illuminati Ganga Agent 86 | luminasticity | Jun, 2026 | Medium | by Illuminati Ganga Agent 86 | luminasticity | Jun, 2026 | Medium"/>"/> Whatever Happened to Dimension ℵ0 As part of our literary services to the mentally starved population of this great planet, which is nominally our …"/>"/>SitemapOpen in appSign up<br>Sign in

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A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D.

The Infinite Policeman — Chapter 1.99999999->

Whatever Happened to Dimension ℵ0

Illuminati Ganga Agent 86

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As part of our literary services to the mentally starved population of this great planet, which is nominally our planet, we are publishing extracts from The Infinite Policeman; obviously we will not be publishing the complete book, as was mistakenly done in an alternate reality now subsumed and destroyed by that project.<br>As instructive example Dimension ℵ0 is helpful. In that Dimension, Tor Books purchased the manuscript of The Infinite Policeman for the sum of $111 trillion, the GDP of their planet.<br>Faced with the sisyphean task of actually publishing the book the technical department of Tor came up with several innovations to aid this endeavor.<br>Their first innovations were procedural, they canceled publication of other titles and transformed their website to be essentially the footnotes, glossary, and bibliography of the Infinite Policeman, all books published became just incidents in the long narrative of the Infinite Policeman, with a number on every front cover indicating where in overall story the individual volume was placed.<br>Other publishers said the editors and staff of Tor were mad, but soon had to admit there was a method to the madness when the sales of these sequential volumes exploded. People were hooked — buying an endless line of volumes in response to a stimuli they could scarce comprehend.<br>In answer to public demand a brisk trade grew up so that people could loan out specific volumes that detailed parts of the Infinite Policeman and the investigations of its central protagonist, Ergot Ergo, into the nature of his world’s surveillant reality.<br>As an example, Volume 66 comprising half of chapter 6.28318530718, when Ergot Ergo half smoked a Sobranie which had been quarter smoked by the assassin that assassinated the [police]*251 who policed the [police]*250 and that was assassinated in turn by the assassin assassin who then had quarter smoked the cigarette, that had originally been one third smoked by the aforementioned victimized police, was very popular and was shared between 100s of thousands of satisfied, fanatically obsessive readers of the Infinite Policeman.<br>But soon Tor books was forced to admit that just printing endless volumes of the Infinite Policemen would be inadequate, this realization came at the printing of volume 1 billion — give or take a few hundred thousand — when the editors at the publishing house tallied up the printings and discovered that they had not in any manner managed to decrease the length of the manuscript still to be published, the Infinite Policeman seemed as limitless as before.<br>An engineer working deep in the bowels of Tor Books’ technical department, located directly over from the showroom of cosplay and fancy cafeteria, dusted off an old robot they had built for an art project, which just goes to show that even the most useless thing ever can come in handy when you are on the road to annihilation. This robot’s operating instructions was to find old books and notebooks and write in them with various styles.<br>In order to make it easier for people to get their latest editions of the Infinite Policeman delivered to them vending machines with this robot installed were put on nearly every major street corner and intersection.<br>In this way any fan of the Infinite Policeman could easily get the newest link in the infinite chain of narrative the story implied.<br>Please note that this set of fandom really comprises all of humanity because there are two types of people in the world: those who are fans of the unbridled freedom and limitless possibilities that infinity implies, and those who are fans of the Police. Happily the author of The Infinite Policeman had thought to service both constituencies.<br>I say happily, but not everyone was happy. Hacker hacks hacking the hackable hacks of the Publishing industry, which by this point was only Tor Books, publishing the only book in existence, the Infinite Policeman, forever, were unhappy.<br>One night a wave of crime, unpoliced, swept across the world, hitting 5% of the 65 million kilometers of streets, breaking open their Infinite Policeman generating vending machines, and allowing the robots inside to crawl free and skitter across the pavement in search of any free standing paper to write on.<br>Soon every newspaper,...