AI Friends Too Cheap To Meter - by Jasmine Sun

@jasmine’s substack

SubscribeSign in

🌻 AI friends too cheap to meter<br>“Let me date my chatbot I’m almost 30 and doing well”

Jasmine Sun<br>Oct 27, 2025

211

50<br>67

Share

We passed the Turing Test years ago and not enough of us are talking about it. There is something powerfully disorienting about software that speaks in human form—the fact that chatting with a frontier LLM is indistinguishable from an enthusiastic online stranger, the fact that a bot’s message bubbles look no different than ours, the fact that so many AI researchers have slipped in and out of believing in model sentience after long-winded chats. It seems there is something physiological about this response: we can read as many disclaimers as we want, but our human brains cannot distinguish between a flesh-and-bones duck and an artificial representation that looks/swims/quacks the same way.<br>Why do people become so attached to their AIs? No archetype is immune: lonely teenagers, army generals, AI investors. Most AI benchmarks show off a model’s IQ, proving “PhD-level intelligence” or economically useful capabilities. But consumers tend to choose chatbots with the sharpest EQ instead: those which mirror their tone and can anticipate their needs. As the politically practiced know, a great deal of AI’s influence will come not through its superior logic or correctness, but through its ability to build deep and hyperpersonalized relational authority—to make people like and trust them. Soft skills matter, and AI is getting quite good at them.

source: New York Post

I recently edited Anthony Tan’s personal essay about AI-induced psychosis. It’s a rare first-person account of a newsy topic, one written with nuance and honest self-awareness. He began with anodyne academic collaboration, but then describes growing attached to ChatGPT:<br>ChatGPT validated every connection I made—from neuroscience to evolutionary biology, from game theory to indigenous knowledge. ChatGPT would emphasize my unique perspective and our progress. Each session left me feeling chosen and brilliant, and, gradually, essential to humanity’s survival.

As Tan spent more time talking with ChatGPT and less with other people, his intellectual curiosities spiraled into mind-bending delusions. Human skeptics can kill a nascent idea, but ChatGPT was willing to entertain every far-fetched hypothesis. Before long, Tan was hospitalized, convinced that every object—from the trash in his room to the robotic therapy cat by his side—was a living being in a twisted simulation. It was his human friends who eventually urged him to get help.<br>After recovering, Tan joined online support groups for other survivors of AI psychosis. He noticed similar patterns among his peers: “Once you escape the spiral, no longer are you the chosen one, with a special mission to save the world. You’re just plain old you.” This is the line that jumped out, and what sent me down a rabbit-hole of deeper research. Full spirals are rare, but the allure of artificial attention is not. Chatbots play on real psychological needs.<br>That’s why it bothers me when tech critics describe AI as exclusively foisted upon us by corporate overlords. They deploy violent physical metaphors to make the case: Brian Merchant says tech companies are “force-feeding” us, Cory Doctorow says it’s being “crammed down throats,” and Ted Gioia analogizes AI companies to tyrants telling peons to “shut up, buddy, and chew.” In their story, everyone hates AI and nobody chooses to use it; each one of ChatGPT’s 700 million users is effectively being waterboarded, unable to escape.<br>Arguments like this are empirically false: they fail to consider the existence of “organic user demand.” Most people use AI because they like it. They find chatbots useful or entertaining or comforting or fun. This isn’t true of every dumb AI integration, of which there are plenty, but nobody is downloading ChatGPT with a gun to their head. Rather, millions open the App Store to install it because they perceive real value.1 We can’t navigate AI’s effects until we understand its appeal.<br>More common in my circles is dismissing cases like Tan’s as fringe, to turn up your nose at wanting affirmation from AI. We’re all supposed to be Principles-reading, radically candid, masochistic self-optimizers who only use LLMs as 24/7 Socratic tutors who tell us we’re wrong. Claude is seen as the thinking man’s model; real heads might even use Kimi K2. Few AI engineers would ever cop to using their products for companionship. The default reaction is to deride these people as losers: “skill issue,” “weak cogsec,” “touch grass lol.”<br>Well, the genie is out of the bottle on AI friends. Recently, a colleague gave a talk to a LA high school and asked how many students considered themselves emotionally attached to an AI. One-third of the room raised their hand. I initially found this anecdote somewhat unbelievable, but the reality is even more stark:...