Fuck your platform

So I've joined your running club or whatever.

Hm, okay you have a Telegram. Let me install it.

The screen I'm presented with upon trying to log in

FUCK

FUCK YOU

i guess i'll pay

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

"You are doing this to yourself"

Did you try turning off your VPN?

Shouldn't have disabled the location permission

What you're using Linux/Graphene OS/… What are you some kind of criminal?

Why are you even making an account in 2026. Are you a scammer?

Are you listening to yourself?<br>You sound like a battered wife.<br>No I should not have to pass a fuckign background check to be able to talk to people.<br>What the fuck is wrong with you?

"We need legislation"

I mean kinda? Giving the fucks responsible their well deserved capital punishment would be cathargic.

But let's be real, you are doing this to everyone else.<br>The cure is literally sliding your fat fingers down to the app store and pressing the install button on Signal.

Oh, but no one uses it

FUCK YOU

Oh, but it doesn't give me a shiny blinking interface for finding a date where everyone can play Fortnite

FUCK YOU

Oh, but we need sub-micro threads to organize all the splinter groups in our leftist knitting circle

Have you tried making multiple group chats. Also FUCK YOU

Yes we need legislation. Also you're giving five years of chatlog with your girlfriend to these fucks because you were too lazy to install an app.<br>You're giving some company in Dubai a comically large button with "make all queer people in this city unable to talk to each other" written on it (seriously, why are you all using telegram AAAA).<br>Have you heard about age verification, chat control? What if they did that but no one showed up everyone just used end to end encrypted open source chat apps.

You can just stop. Maybe don't run screaming and crying every time you don't understand something. Ask your local weird nerd for help. Here is a list of alternatives you fuck.

A list of alternatives

Telegram -> Signal

Whatsapp -> Signal

Snapchat -> Signal + looking at an adfly link

Discord -> Element, also Signal

For the slow readers: JUST USE SIGNAL

Also look at this https://www.privacytools.io/privacy-messaging if you decide securing your heartfelt conversations is worth a few minutes of reading on the shitter.