The Scoundrel Who Steals Fruit And Apologizes Insincerely Is Having a Bad Day. | by Illuminati Ganga Agent 86 | luminasticity | May, 2026 | MediumSitemapOpen in appSign up<br>Sign in

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A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D.

The Scoundrel Who Steals Fruit And Apologizes Insincerely Is Having a Bad Day.

Illuminati Ganga Agent 86

9 min read·<br>May 24, 2026

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Sarasota! A lively happy fun place along the Florida Coast that will probably not be imminently destroyed, or long term destroyed, or corrupted by evil or any of that not nice happy fun stuff that happens to non-sunny places with urban populations.<br>You, my friend are just moved in, your lovely wife and children are adjusting to America just fine, and you, a darker skinned Italian speaking person of indeterminate ethnicity when examined by a moron are going to love it here!<br>Sarasota, Fla, it’s mighty white, ain’t it. /s<br>Of course, in the U.S anywhere so white has done a lot of bad things to keep that up! And that’s good, because that means there is a lot of spectral, evil energy to harvest, and to use to..<br>Agent 76: Can you please perhaps to talk a little less?<br>Agent 31: Ah yeah sure, I guess I do tend to yammer on a bit. It’s just being here is also a bit new for me. Takes getting used to.<br>Agent 76: Indeed.<br>Press enter or click to view image in full size

It was the truth, I was new to the U.S and Sarasota, and strongly nervous that our installation of Bunburyland, the intelligent fungus containing within it a world of whimsical fantasy would not support itself, and the world would be destroyed, and for this reason I was perhaps rude in an overt way to my co-worker.<br>It was I that had come to America as chief biophysics researcher for Illuminati Ganga’s Science Fictive Living Department. Most of my team had remained behind in Naples and I had a new team here to grow accustomed to, it seemed a bad decision but most of the scientists and intellectuals needed to run a complicated project like this had flat out refused reassignment to America.<br>My contract was not forgiving as theirs. Now, in Naples, Piero, Agent 74, my second in command, was taking command of the European division of the SFLD and regrowing the fragments left behind off Bunburyland I to make a second version and attempt to see if we would be able to achieve teleportation between the two fantastical realities. Imagine this, teleportation by dropping from our reality into fantasy, and then emerging from fantasy in our reality, within seconds across the ocean. This was things like this as to why I began my career in science!<br>This is I admit a very exciting time to be a mad scientist, but also a less exciting time to be a non-white immigrant in the U.S, and Sarasota of all places which, my new friend Agent 31 has told me is 84% white.<br>Agent 31: Did you know Stephen King has a place around here? Agent 88 had a threesome at it once, he says anyway. Also there was a lot of really spooky evil stuff, which is again — why we’re here right!?<br>I sighed and kept up with fiddling with the Potentiality Screen, the monitor that can focus in on events in Bunburyland and tell us how things are going, of course it doesn’t work very well, and hardly ever, so two points against it, but in a way this hardly ever working blurry falling apart absolute technical disaster is perhaps my greatest achievement as a scientist. A monitor from our world into one that functions under severely different physical constraints. I would like to publish, but I have been threaten with the assassination if I do, I am pretty sure that is why Agent 88 keeps watching me, it is, they say, sort of his specialness. But it is also still good I am here, because I am improving of my English, it is getting pretty good I think.<br>“Holy Shit” that was Agent 31 again, the screen was coming into focus.<br>Press enter or click to view image in full size

OOPS, there goes Sanity<br>The Scoundrel was lolling back on a sward of grass, feeling the soft loamy soil through his artificial skin, in aid of this he had taken off all clothes and shoes and was naked as the day the giant artificial body he inhabited first came out of the cryocylinder.<br>I know this because I….tadumpdi-pidum!<br>AM THE SCOUNDREL!!<br>Yes, C’est moi, the Scoundrel who steals fruit and says suck it up loser. You lousy whining human jerk, with your clinging to life and a pointless existence, what the hell is wrong with you?<br>“Look at it, Hymie” I said to my only friend in the world, while pointing at the dark evil shadow growing and moving swiftly across the sky, seemingly intent on devouring the world, “Just look” and for special emphasis I jingled back and forth the still bloody spine of Hymie at the clouds, so that his slack jawed goblin head rolled on the end of the spinal column, and his blank eyes stared up at the clouds, he was...