A Review of Grand Theft Auto XXIIV

A Review of Grand Theft Auto XXIIV

Retro games guide you through nonlinear narratives via carefully-crafted<br>constraints. To play Death Stranding 8 is to live in a Kojima-directed auteur<br>film for 120+ hours.

Classic games may evoke that warm fuzzy nostalgia, but they constantly break<br>immersion. Before narrative engines, game developers forcibly corralled players<br>back onto a pre-determined main main quest. Seriously, try playing any<br>silver-era Nintendo game without narrative mods -- it's exhausting.

Rockstar Games introduced a new narrative engine in GTA23. It does all the<br>basics: synthesizing lore, creating stakes, balancing tension, doling out<br>justice, playing cinematic cut scenes after climactic moments, etc.

Bear with me, but my big gripe with GTA23 is that its new narrative engine is<br>too good.

In a game with helicopters and prostitutes, you can spend five actual months<br>fishing for carp and grilling them on a shopping cart. The game will reward you<br>with varying sizes of small carp and convince you that a legendary megacarp<br>lurks in those waters, waiting for your hook. It will force you upstream when<br>industrial runoff kills all the wildlife in your usual spot. The game will dole<br>out friendship and rivalry and loss and victory in perfect proportions. You will<br>eventually hunt down a shopping cart thief and make him beg for mercy. The call<br>of that river will remain with you for the rest of your life.

Other reviewers became drug kingpins and oil moguls. My playthroughs led me to<br>become a carp fisherman, Wendy's franchisee, youth pastor, and chemistry<br>teacher.

I understand that this is a skill issue. The game does exactly what I want, but<br>apparently I want trite bullshit. Any game that exposes my unfulfillable<br>potential is too damn realistic.

Maybe other people have wilder imaginations, or desire cooler outcomes, or are<br>disciplined enough to invest incremental time/effort toward long-term goals.

GTA23 is fun, but it hurts to see others having more fun than me.

6/10