We have more impact than we know<br>We have more impact than we know<br>On feeling like our efforts don't matter.<br>I recently found out that an old childhood friend passed away. They're saying it was a suicide.

It's an unfamiliar feeling. Finding out through friends of friends. I had lost touch with him over the years, even though he was someone I thought about weekly.

"I wonder what he's up to nowadays," I used to think. He was one of the smartest people I knew. Maybe too smart. The last time I met him was over 5 years ago now.

We grew up together. School was easy, and we used to sneak away from classes to learn about science, philosophy and psychology on our own. In these escapes, we created our own little worlds. Exploring our islands of interests with our small group of friends.

After he introduced us to the concept of lucid dreaming one day, our new morning ritual became carefully inspecting our hands and trying to breathe through pinched noses, doing what is known as reality checks. The goal was to get this habit into our dreams, helping us become aware during them.

There are a number of odd subjects like this that he would bring to us. We learned, experimented, and reported our findings the next day. Each day expanding our area of knowledge and consciousness. We were having fun.

Looking back, one of the most important things he taught me was curiosity. How to teach myself using books and the internet. I learned that if something piques my interest, it's a signal that I should explore it, no matter how strange it might seem.

It is only now that I've started to become aware of just how much influence he's had in shaping the person I am today.

I used to say I didn't care about impact. About changing the world. I think I was just scared of the pressure that came with trying.

We look up to great innovators and entrepreneurs and feel like their impact is more tangible and ask ourselves, "How can I ever compete with them?" It's easy to think that our efforts don't matter.

But contributing to the story of humanity is not a competition.

Each and every one of us play a part in the universe that is hard to grasp. There is simply no way for us to fully understand the consequences of our actions.<br>"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."<br>The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho<br>Changing the world seems like a daunting task. But impact is not an active choice, it's inevitable. We all do it every day just by interacting with the world around us.

Since the loss of my friend, embracing the identity of someone that changes the world is no longer accompanied by the same sense of pressure.

It all came from a simple realization of the profound impact he has had on me.

While I've always loved that quote from The Alchemist, now is the first time I truly sense its meaning.

His passing became a reality check that did not make sense.

I'll see you in my dreams, my friend.

Published with<br>autogram