An Open Letter to Pete Buttigieg: - by Richard Procida

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An Open Letter to Pete Buttigieg:<br>Welcome to a Painful Understanding Many Fathers Know Too Well<br>Richard Procida<br>Jun 29, 2026

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Dear Mr. Buttigieg,<br>I read your recent Substack account of the ordeal your family just endured. An anonymous caller triggered a Child Protective Services investigation with a fabricated claim that you had confessed to “unspeakable violent crimes.” Michigan State Police and Child Protective Services (CPS) quickly determined the report was false, but not before your four-year-old children were sent to their grandparents, subjected to forensic interviews without you present, and separated from you for roughly 24 hours. You described it as among the darkest hours of your life. That pain is real, and no parent—regardless of politics, fame, or who they love—should have to experience it.<br>Truth and Democracy Coalition News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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What happened to you was a malicious false report, the kind often compared to “swatting.” It was resolved relatively quickly. For that, your family was fortunate. Your public profile, resources, and the anonymous nature of the claim likely helped authorities move fast and clear you. Most men in America are not so lucky when false or exaggerated allegations of abuse or danger surface in family matters.<br>The 24-Hour Exception vs. the Typical Reality for Fathers<br>In family court and CPS interactions across the country, fathers routinely face immediate and prolonged separation from their children based on allegations—sometimes later proven false, exaggerated, or strategically timed. Emergency protective orders, temporary custody changes, and “no contact” directives can be issued on the strength of one parent’s word. The accused father is often removed from the home, limited to supervised visitation, or cut off entirely while the legal process drags on for months or years. Legal fees mount, jobs suffer, and relationships with children erode. Even when the allegations are ultimately not substantiated, the damage to the father-child bond and the father’s reputation frequently proves lasting.<br>You experienced 24 hours of this nightmare. Many fathers would consider 24 hours a miracle. Countless others lose primary access, or see their role reduced to that of a visitor and paycheck for far longer—sometimes permanently—despite later exoneration or lack of evidence. This disparity is not theoretical. Court data and studies over decades have shown mothers receiving primary physical custody in the large majority of cases where sole custody is awarded.<br>False Allegations and the “Women Don’t Lie” Narrative<br>Your case also highlights a broader issue: false allegations happen. They can come from anyone—anonymous callers, ex-partners, or third parties—and they inflict devastating harm on the accused, the children, and the family. Some advocacy narratives have long insisted that women virtually never lie about abuse, domestic violence, or child endangerment. This framing has influenced policy, training for law enforcement and courts, and public discourse, sometimes creating a de facto presumption that accusations against men are true until proven otherwise. The result is a system that can treat men as guilty by virtue of being male and accused. Sidelining due process, evidence standards, and the possibility of fabrication or manipulation, especially in high-stakes custody disputes where one side may have strong incentives to gain advantage, are not uncommon.<br>Surveys and analyses paint a more complex picture. A national YouGov survey found that roughly 8% of Americans report having been falsely accused of domestic violence, child abuse, or sexual assault—equating to over 20 million adults—with female accusers reported in a majority of those cases and a notable portion arising in custody contexts. Other research on family proceedings has found significant percentages of domestic violence or abuse allegations in contested custody cases later deemed unfounded, exaggerated, or false. False allegations cause real harm: lives are upended, children traumatized by conflict and separation, and genuine victims of real abuse sometimes undermined when skepticism grows from overreach.<br>The point is not that all allegations are false or that real abuse should be ignored. Real abuse of children and partners occurs and must be addressed seriously, with proper evidence and due process. The problem is a system that too often defaults to treating accusations against men as presumptively valid, especially when made by women, while fathers face an uphill battle to restore access and reputation even after clearance.<br>Family Law and Criminal Law: Patterns of Disadvantage for Men<br>This pattern extends beyond your CPS experience into broader family law and criminal contexts:<br>- Family law : Child support...