smart world - splendidland
copyright © all rights reserved
copyright © all rights reserved
Smart World
A billowing white fog fills the room as a naked person with a face slightly too small for their head exits the cryogenic pod, they stand in a room that somehow seamlessly combines the aesthetics of a clinical hospital room and a McDonalds play area.<br>It's the future, specifically the year Xthousand Xhundred and Xty X, and things have changed a lot since nowadays.<br>"I understand you must be bewildered", said a doctor who was augmented with a hovering suit of armor with no points of articulation, looking like a kind of metal human kite drifting around the room.<br>"This is Smart World. MENSA is the government, and IQ points are the currency. Your new assigned name is Blim Plimsoll"<br>Blim Plimsoll punched themself in the face.<br>"Smart World? it can't be! I have so many questions! Do you use smart phones in the smart world?"<br>"No. In Smart World we only talk to each other face to face, because it stimulates the brain. We don't have "phones" anymore."<br>Later that night in the hospital, Blim lay awake, thinking about everything. "Smart world?" they thought to themself. "What could that mean for a tremendous dipshit like me?"<br>After falling asleep eventually, Blim had a dream where they fell down a mineshaft and got their dick caught in a pile of ore, which didn't have anything to do with their current situation and offered no comfort at all.<br>As Blim checked out of the hospital the next day, they looked behind them, seeing that the exterior of the hospital was bright purple, with an organic wrinkled texture.<br>Many buildings look like this in the Smart World, while others are more like big computers you can go inside.<br>"MENSA accidently discovered that heaven is real one day and they took control of it." exposited a passerby with no prompt whist solving a rubiks cube.<br>"Now they rule the world with their army of bio-angels."<br>MENSA's space tower looms over the city on the horizon, illuminated against the cloudy dark red sky. Maybe the answer to what's going on lies there?<br>"I just told you what's going on" interjected the passerby once more, their voice now sounding more like wind whistling through an alleyway than normal human speech.<br>"You'd better get your wits about you, or you won't last one day here!"<br>Blim looked at the indentification card they were handed at the hospital. The IQ number next to their name changed from 106 to 102.<br>This world is ruthless, and Blim had to figure out how to adapt and survive<br>"I'm feeling pretty hungry, I guess I'd better get some brain food!" Blim chuckled to themself. Their IQ card rolled down to 101.<br>Stumbling hither and tither through the streets, Blim was amazed and frightened by everything they saw.<br>In Smart World, people control their cars with their minds, by pressing their face into a kind of wet memory foam slab where the steering wheel normally is.<br>A child who is so smart her swolen head makes her look like one of those funko pops, happily floating through the air suspended inside a semi-transparent chrome egg.<br>And the sudoku puzzles in the newspaper are even more difficult than before.<br>"Oh, this establishment seems like a fine place of business to obtain some delicious comestibles!" tutted Blim in a performative smart guy voice, standing at the entrance of a restaurant called "The Golden Cerebrum"<br>The door required operating a complex sensory mechanism to open, which Blim approached with all the tact of an ape trying to crack open a coconut, it just won't give.<br>At that moment, a married couple of disembodied brains exit the building, looking down dissapointingly at a frustrated curled up Blim, who stared back up at them like a guilty dog.
"Sorry..." muttered Blim as they got off the floor, dusting themselves off.<br>"I was just checking out the menu..."
As Mr.and Mr. Brain drifted away for an evening of incomprehensible neural sex, Blim snuck into the restaurant just before the doors closed.<br>"That door was soooo easy to open!" hooted out Blim at the top of their voice. Nobody payed any attention.<br>The restaurant was dimly lit but elegant, the walls looked like slabs of raw chicken, with red bioluminescant veins threaded throughout.<br>Blim sat at a table, staring blankly at the menu as if focusing on it long enough would change the items on it.<br>Now, Blim is a notoriously picky eater, they don't even like their ketchup and chips to touch on the plate because they prefer to eat them separately, but this is a restaurant for the smartest people in Smart World, and they eat using their minds here.<br>To their left, a man whose head is encased in a metal dome is sat alone, feeding a salad leaf into a slot in his forehead.<br>To their right, a party of identical businesswomen and men are bathing in an aura of purple electricity and gaining nourishment from it.<br>A loud voice suddenly booms into the room: "Congratulations to Lord Drimble, who has become the smartest person on earth, with an IQ of...