Who am I? I'm an awkward fellow, after all..2026-07-02
Who am I? I'm an awkward fellow, after all<br>Published 2026-07-02T00:00:00Z<br>DanielNew month, new Indie Web Carnival submission to overshare personal stuff on the internet. This month it’s hosted by Joe Crawford and the theme is “Masks, Identity & Cosplay”.
I’ve never cosplayed or been fond of costumes. My parents never let me celebrate Halloween so I didn’t have any costumes available. But continuing with the theme of childhood memories, there are some canon events that may have defined my identity, and how or why I tried to mask it. One of them is probably the only cosplay I’ve ever done and will ever do:<br>The Shrek cosplay incident<br>When I was 8 or 9 years old there was this annual event where they divided the school into 3 teams and they competed through different kinds of contests in a sort of Olympics. My classroom chose me for the costume contest. Naturally, the day of the contest I showed up to school in a FULL SHREK COSTUME.<br>I had painted my already bushy eyebrows black. Green face, green neck, and green hands. Wearing a Shrek vest, shirt and shoes. Topped by a green hoodie with Shrek ears. I even had a pillow below the shirt to fake a Shrek belly. The full package.<br>Note: please mind that this is early 2000s in a South American country. Cosplay wasn’t even a known thing here. As successful as Shrek was, it still wasn’t the cult classic it is today. At that time kids my age were trying to look cool and edgy, and my Shrek costume as good as it was, was the complete opposite. I wish I could have done this in the era of Shrek memes.
When I got to school, the awkwardness was off-the-charts. Not because of my wacky costume or the awkward shoes I was wearing.<br>It was a normal school day.<br>Imagine tens of kids entering school in their uniform in perfect condition and a green blob of absurdity in between them. I had to skip the usual salute to the flag we did on Mondays because my teachers didn’t know how to explain to the principal why I was in that costume. I had to be in math class in a green Shrek suit with a green face because they didn’t give me time to remove it. I had normal street clothes in my backpack so when I got the chance in between classes, when no one was in the classroom, I hid in the back of the room, undressed, cleaned up the green ink from all over my body, and put on my normal street clothes.<br>Turns out everyone had left because the contests were starting, and guess what was the first contest? Costume contest of course. All that humiliation for nothing, and now everyone was mad at me for missing the sign-up.<br>I don’t remember much after that.<br>The eyebrow transgression<br>During that same year, there was another incident where I humiliated myself, got sent home, and got grounded for months.<br>In that school, the religion class taught kids Catholic stuff, and since plenty of children weren’t Catholic, for them there was a special class called “Valores”, where we were supposedly taught moral values. Since my dad was Protestant I was sent to that class.<br>In general I’m glad I was sent there. It was fun, we played a lot, and we had a lot of time to just goof around in class. Emphasis on the goofing around. One of the most common activities we had was making board games about moral values. Think game of life stuff, or snake and ladders but instead of snakes it’s doing bad things, and instead of ladders being a good kid.<br>We were usually split into groups, and I was never good at crafts, nor a natural leader. So my group just ignored me and didn’t let me do much. So I was there, with my scissors having nothing to do. Normally in cases like that I’d just sit and do nothing. I’m fine with doing nothing and just wander into my thoughts.<br>Note: Adults always told me I was “viviendo en la luna”/“living in the moon”. Which meant something like having my head in the clouds. Because of that I had trouble following classes, but on the other hand it helped me be fine with spending time by myself.
I’ve always had bushy eyebrows. I didn’t want to have bushy brows. I wanted to be cool. So, in my daydreaming session, with a pair of scissors in hand, an idea crossed my mind. Without giving it a second thought, I took the matter into my own hands. I lifted the scissors at eye level, grabbed my bushy right eyebrow with my off-hand, and cut it.<br>Laughter bursts all around me. Suddenly I wasn’t as invisible as I thought I was. The teacher melted down into a mixture of desperation and rage. I was sent to the inspectory (our version of being sent to the principal’s office) where I was scolded.<br>This was the last class of the day, and when it finished I was sent to get my stuff surrounded by laughter from other kids who had heard the story. When I got home my dad was waiting for me. I got scolded, received the belt...