Quiet, My Exoself - by Kevin Kelly - KK
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Quiet, My Exoself
Kevin Kelly<br>Jul 06, 2026
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Someday real soon, most of us — starting with young adults — will carry an always-on AI. This agent will help us navigate our journeys, answer our questions, tutor and teach us new skills, remember people we have met before, remind us of what we once knew before, offer advice and recommendations, do simple errands, and remember everything we say and do. Before long, it will know us better than we know ourselves. It will be our exoself.<br>While we will use more than one agent, we’ll primarily favor just one that knows us best. Always-on means this agent is listening, watching, tracking, present during all our waking hours, and maybe even while we sleep. We will allow this intimate access to our inner life because it gives us superpowers: knowledge, judgment, decisiveness, confidence, and most important, speed. We will feel productive, creative, smart, capable, and on top of it when it is on. When it is off, we will feel amputated.<br>This entity is clearly not our self. But at the same time, this always-on AI will be so close to us, understanding us so well and so deeply — better than almost any human could — that it will not be an other, or an outsider either. It can model us too well to be an other. It will be an exoself: something in between our self and an other self. Neither us, but also not outside of us. A new category.<br>It won’t feel strange, because we don’t feel strange wearing eyeglasses all day, or hearing aids, or carrying a computer in our pockets. Machines like this have been moving closer to us since they were invented. Smart machines started out as room-sized apparatus, then moved nearer as appliances alongside a desk, then onto the desktop in front of us, then onto our laps, then into our pockets — and soon, they will sit on our skin, perhaps on our heads. We already see prototypes of smart glasses, where the exoself can perch, whispering into our ears and illuminating our eyes.<br>A borrowed term
The term “exoself” is borrowed from science fiction. Authors Greg Egan and Ron Hale-Evans imagined cyborgian devices that extended the senses and physical powers of a human with augmented compute — prosthetics, exoskeletons, exoselves. More recently, theorist Anders Sandberg widened the term to include the expanding circle of self we get from social media and culture itself; he would even include the act of writing text as part of our exoself. He defines exoselves as “systems linked to the self in a cooperative way, extending the mind and the body — systems that can blur the border between the core self and the world.” In this sense, digital technology extends our minds the way industrialism extended the human body. Microphones and speakers extend the ear and mouth (talk to your family across an ocean); wheels extend the foot; steam shovels expand our arms. AI and adjacent technologies extend the boundary of where we end and our minds begin.<br>The very concept of the self is itself a fairly recent invention. The idea that we each have an atomic, central self — one that needs improvement and care — mostly dawned as individualism grew and our sense of tribe and group identity waned. More recently still, some philosophers have argued that even this modern sense of self is an illusion: there is no “I” in our head making decisions, only the appearance of one. The system of the mind makes decisions, and the apparent “I” follows along after. The illusion may be useful, even necessary for sanity — but an illusion nonetheless. If that’s right, then an exoself extending an illusory self is, in some sense, doubly illusory.<br>We nonetheless act as if a self is real, and if exoselves appear as they seem aimed to, then we are faced with a very big question: which kind of relationship is possible, or do we want, with this new entity — something that knows us better than we do?<br>A life lived as a cyborg
Technologist Thad Starner, from the MIT Media Lab, claims to be one of the first cyborgs to roam the world. In the mid-1990s, he spent several years in full dork mode, wearing a small computer on his head with a screen displayed over his eyes — decades ahead of Google Glass and smart Ray-Bans. From that experience of living with an always-on computer, he concluded that he’d developed “a life-long relationship between a user and a particular machine interface. As the machine and user adapt to each other over the years, a new, integrated being might emerge combining the best features of both.”<br>The dream of a human-computer symbiosis is as old as the dream of autonomous robots. Some of the earliest AI experimenters, like Doug Engelbart, were aiming for the augmentation of human intelligence rather than artificial intelligence in machines. The whole wearable-computing movement pointed the same way: future-you might wear machine intelligence like a good shirt. Around 2008, Gary Wolf and I gave this...