Attention Tastes Good Like a Politik Should

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Attention Tastes Good Like a Politik Should<br>Lolcows are the new political meta. So why aren’t we laughing?

Blake Colquitt<br>Jul 06, 2026

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Illustration by Blake Colquitt<br>December 2014, Charlottesville, Virginia . You’re a loyal GameStop employee. For close to minimum wage, you find yourself frequently running an entire retail store all by yourself, ripping off kids and unaware parents to maximize corporate profits, and consistently dealing with some of the most socially unaware — and smelliest — man-children in existence.<br>Sometimes, the fanaticism that enters your door crosses over to delusion and, rarely, even violence.<br>Tensions are never higher than Boxing Day — the day after Christmas — when the store is crowded, wallets are fat, and school break is in full swing. During the morning rush, a large, long-haired man wearing purple My Little Pony sunglasses bursts through the door, screaming incoherently about Sonic the Hedgehog. After you gently and politely ask him to leave, he whips out a pink can of mace, screeches, and unloads it directly into your face before turning tail to Naruto-run out of the mall.<br>Who, you think as you angrily and perplexedly scrub your tumid eyes, was that repulsive ogre of a man?<br>First arising to internet fame after an article detailing his semi-autobiographical webcomic was published to 4chan and the Something Awful website, Chris Weston Chandler (i.e., “Chris Chan”) is what’s known online as a lolcow: someone who is milked by their audience for laughs, usually at his or her own expense.<br>Beginning in 2007, via Lulu.com, 4chan, and his personal YouTube channel, Chris unabashedly broadcast his antics to the world, such as harassing women at his college campus (including the dean), running over the manager of his local game shop with his car, burning down his family home in an electrical fire, forming a doomsday cult, and declaring himself a living reincarnation of Jesus Christ.<br>Unlike musicians, actors, or even influencers, lolcows are not famous because of their talent, charisma, or — frankly — any other positive attribute they may possess. In fact, quite the opposite is true: their fame is a direct result of their spectacular failures, lack of character, and inability to do anything worthy of note or praise. People pay attention to them for the same reason that, one would assume, some people watch NASCAR: they’re hoping to see a car crash.<br>Classic lolcows like Chris Chan are defined largely by their borderline unbelievable levels of naivety, failing to ever understand that their popularity is underpinned by people laughing at them — and finding revelry in their every failure and embarrassment.<br>Take, for example, Jordie Jordan (also known as “Wings of Redemption”), who was a talented and well-respected Call of Duty player in the late 2000’s. After rage-quitting a game against another highly-ranked player in 2011, his audience turned on him, trolling him for his inability to accept criticism and his massive weight gain, among other things. Before long, he was breaking controllers, shoving his wife, and in several cases, crying — all on camera. He has made myriad controversial and bizarre claims on public record, including that he killed a cat by trapping it under a bucket, that he forced his grandmother to stick her finger into his rectum to alleviate a painful defecation episode, and that he drank his own urine.<br>Or, a more modern example: Joshua Block, or “World of T-Shirts,” is a 24-year old who habitually blacks out drinking on livestream and engages in depraved and unsettling behavior, such as killing a fish by stomping on it repeatedly, saying the n-word, spitting on people, vomiting on public transit, and starting fights in foreign countries.<br>“A lolcow with a large enough audience is like a wildfire in a defunded national park: it can grow, and grow, and grow — unfettered and without any discernible stopping point.”

Most lolcows, like Chris, Jordie, and Joshua, continue on at exactly the same speed for their entire careers, without ever achieving any level of self-awareness. They embrace their role as a punching bag, enjoying the little attention and money that their participation in the milking generates.<br>Eventually, though, some begin to notice a pattern: the worse they act, the more attention they get — and the more attention they get, the more revenue they’re able to generate. Recognizing that bad behavior grows their audience much faster than good behavior, they double down on weaponizing their poor behavior as spectacle.<br>“DarkSydePhil,” or just “DSP,” (legally, Phillip Burnell), is one of the most notorious intentional lolcows on the internet. His livestreams consist mostly of begging his audience for money and whining about his financial situation while he plays video games — poorly — in the background. His highlights include: masturbating to completion on stream (presumably without realizing he...