'Are Most People Liars and Fakes?' - by Heather Havrilesky
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'Are Most People Liars and Fakes?'<br>Curiosity is the cure to confusion.<br>Heather Havrilesky<br>Jul 09, 2026
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Robert Plant, 1973. Photo credit: James Fortune
Hi Polly,<br>This is such a stupid and naive question, but I felt like writing to you.<br>Do a lot of people lie about their accomplishments and overall happiness? Are a lot of people manipulative or withholding? Having now entered the workforce, I have noticed many peculiar behaviors. People straight up lie on their resume to obtain lucrative positions. Moreover, when I email HR about other internal positions or promotions, they legitimately ignore my emails until I repeatedly nudge them. It’s like they don’t want anyone to get ahead. I think a lot of my coworkers also don’t want to help other people, or be generous with their time thinking they will be taken advantage of. The problem is that we are all working on the same project!!<br>I have also met other people outside of work recently who feel that admitting any sort of flaw is a sign of weakness or failure. They never want to admit that they are tired or overwhelmed with life. There is also so much weird jealousy over people who make more money, or have better cars. The jealousy thing makes me so uncomfortable. I think too much of it can turn into self-victimization.<br>I don’t know... I guess university was nothing like this. My classmates were all genuinely happy and supportive of each other. I’m not saying that I am a better person than everyone at work or anything. I also have my insecurities and shame that I have to work on. I also want to look put-together. I am just so tired of all these mind games and work politics. I find the coldness from others to be isolating and hurtful. I feel like life is so hard and confusing, and wish everyone would just admit it rather than trying to portray perfection. I don’t want to become hardened by the corporate world. I want to be kind and honest.<br>I don’t know, I’m just rambling.<br>Confused<br>Dear Confused,<br>Sometimes you need to ramble in order to find your footing. Cue“Ramble On” by Led Zeppelin: Perfect percussive guitar riff, perfect bass line, ethereal voice that goes from a whisper to a hoarse howl.<br>Ah, sometimes I grow so tired<br>But I know I’ve got one thing I got to do<br>RAMBLE ON.<br>How do you feel when you listen to this song? If you feel nothing, maybe you never associated Led Zeppelin with anything vibrant or odd or seductive. You saw “Almost Famous” and you knew that it was about Led Zeppelin but they seemed like dirt bags. You saw “Thor” so you’ve heard “Immigrant Song.” Your friend’s Instagram story featured the start of “That’s the Way.”<br>The way something enters your consciousness affects the depth and richness of your experience. On Instagram or in a Marvel movie, Led Zeppelin might feel like a boring Boomer artifact repurposed out of greed or an attempt to seem cool. My reference to “Ramble On” might strike you as myopic nostalgia.<br>Likewise, in the context of a corporate office, it’s very easy for other people to seem cold or unfeeling. The way communication is structured impedes deep connections and nuanced interactions. There are few opportunities to RAMBLE ON.<br>Transitioning from college to the corporate world is impossibly hard, a brutal shock to the system. Everything that’s celebrated and embraced in college is discouraged and rejected in the workplace. You feel like you have to power down everything fresh and vibrant and honest about yourself just to survive.<br>The people around you seem impatient.<br>Are you impatient, too?<br>Let’s test your patience by watching Robert Plant perform “Ramble On” on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert two months ago. Robert Plant is 77 years old.
It’s a dangerous thing, to witness someone whose music you love getting older and continuing to perform. But goddamn, the man still has some magic left in him. His voice isn’t thin and broken, it’s full and powerful. Who is this lady with the accordion and why isn’t she getting on my nerves?<br>If you don’t stop and watch the video, you might have a negative impression of an aging rock star belting out a tune from his glory days. The moral: Patiently watching changes everything.<br>At work, when you’re just trying to get through the day, you aren’t open to seeing tiny glimmers of kindness and honesty. Everyone looks manipulative, selfish, and disingenuous. Everyone seems to lie to get ahead. Even out of the office, people appear shallow, empty, and fickle.<br>Of couse you aren’t entirely wrong. The truth is that many people are not only self-involved and cold, but they’re also so fucking boring. They’re uninspired, they’re unoriginal, they’re undercooked, they’re underwhelming. They do what’s in front of them and that’s all. The motherfuckers never ramble on! They don’t show you who they are. They don’t listen. They don’t take time to reveal their layers.<br>But is that the whole pictture? Even though...