Stop Making People Guess What You Want
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Stop Making People Guess What You Want<br>Informing, checking, and asking: three words that cut my board meetings in half
Marc Randolph<br>Jul 14, 2026
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I was two hours into a board meeting that should have taken sixty minutes, and it was my own fault.<br>I had mentioned — casually, I thought — some pricing challenges we were working through. I already knew what I was going to do. I wasn’t asking for help.<br>But I hadn’t told them that.<br>What followed was an hour of well-intentioned chaos. Every board member had an opinion. Contradictory advice flew across the table. By the time we wrapped up, I was more confused than when I started, they felt unheard, and we’d burned an afternoon debating a decision that was never really up for debate.<br>The problem wasn’t my board. The problem was me. I never told them what I actually wanted from them.<br>Mind readers<br>Your board members genuinely want to help. So does your boss. So does your team. So does your spouse, for that matter. But none of them are mind readers. Raise a topic without signaling what kind of response you need, and every well-meaning person in the room jumps in with opinions.<br>I’ve mentored dozens of CEOs since my Netflix days, and this is one of the first things I share with all of them. Before you communicate anything important, decide which of three buckets it falls into.<br>Informing<br>“Here’s what I’m doing.” A pure update. No feedback required, no discussion necessary.<br>At Netflix, almost from day one, our most common customer service ticket was a lost or stolen disc. I didn’t ask the board how we should handle it. I told them: when a customer says a disc went missing, we ship them another one. No questions asked. Yes, some people will take advantage of us — but it’s still cheaper than treating every honest customer like a criminal.<br>Framing something as information prevents needless debate on a decision that doesn’t need to be debated. And believe me, this one was debatable. Framed as a question, it would have eaten an hour: What about fraud? What’s our exposure? But your board isn’t there to second-guess your execution — they’re there for governance and strategy. Help them respect that distinction.<br>Checking<br>“Unless you object, here’s what I’m doing.” Subtle, but powerful. You’re giving people a chance to wave a red flag if they see something you’ve missed — but the default is action. Again, you’re not asking permission. You’re doing a final sanity check.<br>At Looker the announcement was “enterprise contracts are closing faster than we expected. Unless you see a risk we’re missing, we’re accelerating our sales hiring.”<br>That sentence does a lot of work. It presented our decision as the default while leaving a narrow window for substantive objections. It respected oversight without killing momentum.<br>Asking<br>“What should I do?” Sometimes you genuinely need guidance. When you do, frame the question precisely... vague questions get vague answers.<br>Don’t walk in and say “we need to talk about fundraising.” Say: “We have two paths. We can raise big at a higher valuation and buy ourselves two years of runway — but risk a down round later. Or we can raise small, preserve our equity, and give ourselves ten months to prove the model. How should I be thinking about this?”<br>Now you’ve channeled a room full of expertise toward an actual decision instead of unlimited brainstorming.<br>Weekend plans<br>Being explicit about what you need frees everyone. When you signal you’re just informing, people don’t feel obligated to weigh in. When you’re checking, their attention goes to risks instead of preferences. When you’re genuinely asking, they know their input will actually shape the outcome.<br>Without those signals, people default to treating everything like it’s up for debate. Which is exhausting for everyone involved.<br>And this isn’t just for boardrooms. Try it with your team. Try it with your boss. Try it at home when you’re negotiating weekend plans... you might be surprised.<br>People want to help you. That’s never been the problem. The problem is that you haven’t told them how.
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