Shitty sleep — lemur in the attic

lemur in the attic

Shitty sleep

Published on July 28, 2026

Like last night what will happen on some random night is that my mind just won't shut up. I smother one train of thought and it doesn't even take more than a few seconds for the new one to come chiming in. Then after a few hundred such rounds I naturally gravitate towards my mobile phone which I won't put down now even after an hour and a half, because the reels keep getting more and more interesting.

But sleeping late is fine because it's not the worse part. One can sure make up for that by waking up late. But no. My mind does not really follow that kind of logic. It can be a real bitch at times. And so because I have gone to bed late, it wants me to get up early. It's the kind of logic that you cannot crack because it's nonsense.

[This picture causes real envy]

The tactic that my mind uses is that it starts playing this cranky, poor quality, loud ass film in the basement of my mind which is so annoying that I just have to give up and get out of the bed.

I have a theory about what is happening here - at around say 5 am in the morning when my mind turns on this drum-beating, I am awake but only like ten percent. And the ninety percent of my conscious is in a dreamy sort of a state. The division of the conscious into these two unequal parts creates a dissociation between them which causes the dreamy conscious to encroach upon the awake conscious. This creates an unpleasant, and fuzzy, and a jumbled state of mind where I'm ruminating on my daytime obsessions all the while managing to play possum, even if a lousy one.

Anyways that's the only explanation I can think of so far and no I won't do any real research about this.

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