Hello, me. It's been a while

Hello, me. It’s been a while. - The Mech - programming blog

Wow. It’s been over fourteen years since the last time I wrote a post on this blog. In those fourteen years, the world has changed, and so have I. So this isn’t going to be a technical post, it’s going to be personal.

One of those subtle changes that quietly crept into my life over the years was filling the silence. As responsibilities piled up, free time became scarce. Almost without realizing it, I started filling every quiet moment with podcasts, audiobooks, or social media. Whether I was at the gym, cooking, or cleaning, there was often something playing in my headphones. Eventually, I built a habit: whenever it was quiet, my immediate instinct was to turn something on.

That’s one of the biggest differences between how my day looks now compared to a decade ago. I used to talk to myself a lot more.

I’m a slow thinker, like really slow. It takes a few minutes just to get my thoughts moving in a direction. But once they pick up momentum, I can easily spend fifteen or thirty minutes exploring an idea, weighing different options and I genuinely enjoy it. My thoughts might not be as grand or groundbreaking as all those experts online, but it’s my voice. Nobody else has access to it. And it’s an important part of my life.

In my day job, I do mental work, and during conversations with others, I focus on listening or sharing what I already know, experienced or thought through. Neither of those gives me the space for slow, unhurried thinking. So my routine became a loop of focus and meetings, leaving me with zero time to actually hear myself.

Recently, as I reached for the play button out of habit, I stopped. I thought: what if I just do this chore in silence today?

At first, it felt uncomfortable. But after a moment, my thoughts started to flow. And it felt so much better than drowning them out with another podcast. I missed that voice. And I’m glad it’s still there.

If you’re someone who somehow lost their inner voice along the way (maybe without even realizing it) give yourself a shot. Don’t play anything in the background, don’t turn on your favorite show. Just sit in silence for a moment and see what happens. You might actually like it.

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Hello, me. It's been a while

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