I’m a very slow thinker | Derek Sivers

When a friend says something interesting to me, I usually don’t have a reaction until much later.

When someone asks me a deep question, I say, “Hmm. I don’t know.”<br>The next day, I have an answer.

I’m a disappointing person to try to debate or attack.<br>I just have nothing to say in the moment, except maybe, “Good point.”<br>Then a few days later, after thinking about it a lot, I have a response.

This probably makes me look stupid in the moment, but I don’t mind.<br>I’m not trying to win any debates.

In fact, I’ll tell you a secret.<br>When someone wants to interview me for their show, I ask them to send me some questions a week in advance.<br>I spend hours writing down answers from different perspectives, before choosing the most interesting one.<br>Then when we’re in a live conversation, I try to make my answers sound spontaneous.

People say that your first reaction is the most honest, but I disagree.

Your first reaction is usually outdated.

Either it’s an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it’s a knee-jerk emotional response to something in your past.

When you’re less impulsive and more deliberate like this, it can be a little inconvenient for other people, but that’s OK.<br>Someone asks you a question.<br>You don’t need to answer.<br>You can say, “I don’t know,” and take your time to answer after thinking.<br>Things happen.<br>Someone expects you to respond.<br>But you can say, “We’ll see.”

And maybe, through example, you can show them that they can do the same.