Where Did the Stop Button Go? Raising a 10-Year-Old in 2026

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Where Did the Stop Button Go? Raising a 10-Year-Old in 2026<br>Raising a 10-year-old in 2026 means figuring out where technology helps and where it gets in the way. Some thoughts on screens, AI, independence, and knowing when to press stop.<br>João Tomé<br>Aug 14, 2026

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A weekly note about the human side of the Internet and AI, from Lisbon. (let’s see if I can keep up with this)

My son is 10 and is about to start fifth grade. That means a new school, new classmates, more teachers, more subjects, different schedules and considerably more independence.<br>It is a big public school, much larger than the primary school he is leaving. One thing I am already grateful for is that phones aren’t allowed.<br>Because one of the things I increasingly think about as a father is how to raise a child around technology that is extraordinarily good at making people want more of it.<br>I grew up in the 1980s and 1990s and loved television. Of course I did. There was a glowing rectangle in the living room showing cartoons, movies, football, music (Elvis, MTV, and Portuguese talent like Ana Faria, Carlos Paião, Xutos e Pontapés, Rui Veloso, etc) news and stories from places I had never seen. My parents sometimes had to tell me to switch it off.<br>But television had something that much of today’s technology has gradually removed: an ending. The cartoon finished. The movie finished. The football match finished. Eventually, there was nothing interesting on. You had to wait for the time of the show and, at some point, sometimes try to record on a VCR (if the thing didn’t fail you!). Also, going to the videoclub was it’s own experience of selection and excitement (and, of course, be kind, rewind).<br>My son Vasco is growing up with a different kind of screen.<br>Where did the stop button go?

YouTube doesn’t really end. Watch one video and another appears. Short-form video removes even that decision. Move your thumb a few centimetres and there’s another video waiting for you. And as we all know by know, the algorithm know what humans like, but even more so what you in particular value the most and gives you more of that.<br>But Roblox (the gaming already social media platform) presents a different problem in our house. Vasco loves it, although these days he can go weeks without playing. One reason we’ve reduced it is surprisingly simple: Roblox can be difficult to leave. My kid already knows that I hate it, because it’s definitely challenging making him stop — and he likes to play with his school friends on video calls over WhatsApp (fortunately that doesn’t happen for several weeks now).<br>Many of its popular experiences are persistent multiplayer worlds. You’re playing with other people. Something is happening, real time, “real” virtual people. Something else is about to happen. Leaving can mean abandoning whatever you and your friends are doing. “Five more minutes” (that is really one more hour) makes perfect sense to the child inside that world.<br>I find games with natural stopping points and the PAUSE button much easier to manage. Finish the match. Complete the level. Save the game. Stop.<br>This goes beyond children lacking discipline. Regulators are increasingly looking at the design itself. In February, the European Commission preliminarily found TikTok in breach of the Digital Services Act over what it called its “addictive design.” It specifically identified infinite scroll, autoplay, push notifications and highly personalised recommendations as features that can encourage compulsive use.<br>A television channel wanted me to keep watching too. Today’s technology companies have vastly better tools for achieving it.<br>Adults aren’t exactly winning this battle either.<br>Even Sam Altman couldn’t stop

Sam Altman told a story recently that I keep thinking about.<br>The OpenAI CEO started using TikTok because his company was developing Sora as a social product for AI-generated video. He wanted to understand TikTok and its recommendation system. His plan was to spend about ten minutes using it before bed.<br>Eventually, he found himself spending around three hours one Saturday afternoon scrolling TikTok. He compared the experience to a drug and eventually deleted the app because he found it too powerful.<br>There is something funny and revealing about the CEO of OpenAI deliberately studying an algorithm and still getting caught by it.<br>If Sam Altman needed to delete TikTok, perhaps we should cut 10-year-olds some slack. OpenAI has since discontinued the Sora social app.<br>The problem with measuring hours

There are reasons to worry beyond what I see at home.<br>The World Health Organization studied almost 280,000 children aged 11, 13 and 15 across 44 countries and regions. In 2018, 7% showed signs of problematic social-media use. By 2022, it was 11%. Among girls, the figure was 13%; among boys, 9%.

The definition matters, of course. Researchers weren’t simply counting hours....