Learn People's Names! - by Justis Mills
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Learn People's Names!<br>You can just do flashcards
Justis Mills<br>Aug 06, 2026
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My dad used to be a professor. Every semester, there were dozens of new students. So he made flashcards, and quizzed himself until he had them down. I bet lots of teachers do this; you do need to be able to call on people by name and notice class participation, and it’s pretty difficult to remember 40 new people every six months.<br>Facebook memes featuring Minions notwithstanding, teachers are not actually superhuman. If they can do it, so can you. Remembering someone’s name feels great, and failing to remember one is a significant barrier to connection. It’s good to learn the art of admitting you’ve forgotten someone’s name, but better yet to just remember.
To be fair, it is probably easier to remember someone’s name when it is “Kink Bada.” No, I don’t know why the AI image generator picked that either.<br>This is one of those unusual things where most people think they’re below average. Chances are, if you tell someone you’re bad at remembering people’s names, they will reply that they are too. My read is that people think of it as a matter of talent or “extraversion” or something, but it’s mostly just conscious effort. Which is easy when you make it a habit, and hard otherwise.<br>How?
Flashcards have already been mentioned. I have never used this method, since I rarely meet large groups of people who I’ll probably see again. Also in most contexts where I want to remember someone’s name, I don’t have a picture of them handy to Anki or whatever. But if you’re starting a new job or work in education, flashcards are the option that can’t fail.<br>In lower-stakes situations like parties or conferences, I try to do two things:<br>I write their name over their head in cursive in my imagination, and think “hey, I want to remember this”
When I get a free moment, I write their name down, along with some fact about them
The last time I was at a party with a bunch of strangers, I’d send little messages to my wife with everyone’s name and a few words about who they were. Not to go back and review, though it wouldn’t hurt, but because the act of writing it down helps cement the names a little more firmly in memory. I don’t think I’d ace a quiz on the names of everyone at that party, but I wouldn’t bomb it either, and if there’s another party with the same group I can dig up those messages.<br>There are lots of other great techniques. Rhyming helps, little invented jingles help, having a good conversation where you connect helps. Following up later helps, too; it’s way way easier to remember someone’s name the third time you see them around town if you confidently addressed them the second time, and you were right, and that felt good.<br>But again, it’s mostly just making the attempt. Recognize that this is a friendly thing you can do for other people, and that almost everyone is bad at it unless they try. Then, if you have it in you, try.<br>You’ll still fail sometimes, sadly. Or at least I do. Sorry about that, people whose names I’ve forgotten! I’ll keep at it.<br>Share
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Brandon Hendrickson
Aug 7Edited
I take learning people's first names pretty seriously, and I've found that it's something approaching a social magic trick. People are universally surprised when you remember their name, and are convinced you care about them. Forget foreign vocabulary: this is Anki's real killer app.
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