Fuck My Cofounder — File an Incident Report

Skip the founder lore

Some startups need a pivot.<br>Some need an exorcism.

Convert founder chaos into a completely unofficial, aggressively redacted incident report. No account. Optional mugshot. No names.

CASE NO. 000001<br>VIBES JURISDICTION

SELECT YOUR COPING MECHANISM

How cooked are we?

MODE 01<br>NO LOGIN / OPTIONAL MUGSHOT

File an<br>Incident Report

Tell the story without telling on anyone. Receive the board disposition you deserve.

Begin emotional paperwork ↗

MODE 02<br>CLASSIFIED

Spicy<br>Mode

For when the cap-table fight is really about who sits next to the ABG CMO at offsite.

Coming soon-ish ↗

LAWYERS SAID “ABSOLUTELY NOT YET”

THE THREE-STAGE GRIEF PIPELINE

Vent. Redact. Release.

01Pick the charge Equity amnesia? Pivot addiction? Weaponized “quick sync”?

02Remove the identifiers No names, handles, links, companies, or courtroom exhibits.

03Share the case file Download the card or send a link with the mugshot attached.

PUBLIC RECORD / VIBES JURISDICTION

The Town Board

Live filings live on their own page. Finish a report and share it to land there automatically — or come back with your board key.

You’re already on the docket. Jump back in.

Visit the Town Board →

Returning? Enter your board key

Unseal

1. Charge<br>2. Statement<br>3. Case file

SECTION A / NATURE OF THE NONSENSE

What are you reporting?

Choose one cofounder offense

Continue →

SECTION B / THE HEAVILY REDACTED LORE

Give us the board-safe version.

Subject photo (optional)<br>Remove

Add mugshot

My cofounder…

0/180

When asked about it, they said…

0/140

Sane adults might call this…

0/80

LIVE CASE FILE PREVIEW

F/MC INCIDENT REPORT<br>CASE #000000

SEVERITY: SERIES B

SUBJECT

CHARGE

STATEMENT

THEIR DEFENSE

ADULT TRANSLATION

← Back<br>Generate case file ↗

SECTION C / OFFICIAL-ISH FINDINGS

The board has seen enough.

Start over

F/MC INCIDENT REPORT<br>CASE #000000

SEVERITY: SERIES B

SUBJECT

CHARGE

STATEMENT

THEIR DEFENSE

ADULT TRANSLATION

Share the evidence*<br>Download card<br>Copy private-ish link

*Sharing posts your case to the Town Board and takes you there. Your CASE # is the board key for later visits. Still no names, still satire.

This emotional paperwork requires JavaScript. Your cofounder has already disabled enough things.